Alternative ways to gain superpowers

My last entry was about selling your soul to the devil, in order to obtain superpowers.

I case you’re not prepared to do that (in which case you probably lack the will to take over the world, or generally succeed in evil), here are some other ways that just might work for you:

  • Become really skilled with technology. I know it’s not really a superpower, but you could be like iron man. Only more evil.
  • Get a lot of money. Buy yourself to manmade superpowers.
  • Take various weird sorts of drugs and hope for the best (worst)
  • Talking to a crow, a goat, or some other animal and hope that they’re willing to fuse with your DNA. (or make them bite you. You never know)
  • Doing something really noble and hope to gain superpowers as a reward. (even if you gained the powers by doing good, it’ll be easy to use them for evil)
  • Ask your local used book vendor for books on dark magic. You might be surprised.
  • Try saying various chants with the words “might”, “dark”, “chaos” or “cosmos”.
  • Asking for superpowers for Christmas/Hanukkah or some other holiday. (might help if one of your family members is a supervillain or Cthulhu)
  • Get in the way of superheroes a lot. That’s how some supervillains are created.
  • Find someone with superpowers, eat their brain, and see if anything happens (it’s been done before)

 In case you don’t have any luck with this, my next post will be dedicated to the supervillains who don’t have powers, but do just fine in the business.

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